Sifting Through the Dregs

Dating the left over men

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The Wrong Direction

When I was dating…this is how it felt sometimes

isthisreallyhowitworks:

I found the “herro” thing pretty offensive as I took it to be a poor impression of an Asian (probably most specifically Japanese) accent, sent they’re known for not being able to pronounce “L” and “R” differently. I dunno. I just feel like it’s one of those things that my Japanese co-worker can say, but coming from this white guy…
Any followers from one of the cultures that (I believe) this is mocking want to chime in? Maybe I’m seeing something that isn’t there, but I’d love to hear your opinions…

I think “herro” can also be said / used in a cute kind of Scooby-Doo type way. And used as more of an endearing approach to the subject. Tiger does this when we’ve been engrossed in watching a show and I break his concentration by snuggling up closer to him. It’s like a fond greeting to my presence. He also does it when my cat jumps on his lap.I think perhaps it’s more appropriately said when you have a sense of familiarity with the person you’re saying it to as I believe the intent is to cutely greet someone you’re fond of. Otherwise, yes it’s perhaps left open to interpretation and could be seen the way you’ve described.

isthisreallyhowitworks:

I found the “herro” thing pretty offensive as I took it to be a poor impression of an Asian (probably most specifically Japanese) accent, sent they’re known for not being able to pronounce “L” and “R” differently. I dunno. I just feel like it’s one of those things that my Japanese co-worker can say, but coming from this white guy…

Any followers from one of the cultures that (I believe) this is mocking want to chime in? Maybe I’m seeing something that isn’t there, but I’d love to hear your opinions…

I think “herro” can also be said / used in a cute kind of Scooby-Doo type way. And used as more of an endearing approach to the subject. Tiger does this when we’ve been engrossed in watching a show and I break his concentration by snuggling up closer to him. It’s like a fond greeting to my presence. He also does it when my cat jumps on his lap.

I think perhaps it’s more appropriately said when you have a sense of familiarity with the person you’re saying it to as I believe the intent is to cutely greet someone you’re fond of.

Otherwise, yes it’s perhaps left open to interpretation and could be seen the way you’ve described.

(Source: the-makeout-whisperer)

The right type of man

ltr1i:

So, now that I’ve found him, I thought I would share the key principles & values that make up the ‘right guy’. It’s taken me a such a long time to find a good one, and every day spent with him I discover something new that makes me smile and think, “this is how it should have been - always” or,…

Key steps for writing a good dating profile

I agree - that would be unfair. However, there was no mention of gender in either posts here. But I am a woman and I date men. My blog is a plethora of experiences I have had with crap, bullshit and idiots of the male variety. 
Posting about that doesn’t imply that there isnt crap, bullshit and idiots of the female variety too. There isn’t anywhere on this blog where that is mentioned, so I’m not sure why you’ve made that assumption?

There are male dating blogs on Tumblr that cover all the crap, bullshit and idiots from their perspective too. You should check them out.

seriouslybrokenthings said: Thank you for your blog! It GMH.. All the crap, bullshit and idiots we go through... there are some good ones out there :)

Naww…why thank you! :) 

Yes…there’s a lot of that to go through before you do find a good one it seems. Another case of a painful experience making the reward at the end all worthwhile.

I hope you find a good one too! 

Anonymous said: Hey, I was wondering if the submit-a-post feature could be kept anonymous? I have some things I would like to share.

Hi Anon,

I’ve tried to research this to see if it were possible.

What I found was this:

By default, Tumblr doesn’t allow blog owners to enable anonymous submissions; however, guests can hide their information by providing an anonymous name and email address.

if a user wants to submit anonymously, he should type “anonymous” in the Name field on the submission form. A nickname may be entered, too, as Tumblr does not require the use of real names. Instruct the user that if he does not wish to divulge his email address, he should enter something like “anonymous@gmail.com.” Users also have the option of obtaining a free, temporary email address from email-generator sites such as YopMail.com (link in Resources).”

Not sure if that works or helps you at all? Please let me know! 

And if anyone else knows how to make this anonymous, please point me in the right direction also! :)

The end…or is it?

Following on from my previous post, and while I will be discontinuing to make posts to this blog, I’ve made a decision on what I’m going to do next and I’ve now done 2 things:

I have opened up this blog to now receive posts, which again can be submitted from here: dateadreg.tumblr.com/submit, if there are others out there who wish to share their experiences with dregs and/or their dating woes, and if there’s a want to keep this alive as a share point. I will be playing editor though, so will provide feedback if there’s anything unsuitable being submitted! 

The other thing I have done is I’ve created a new blog, which for those who wish to continue following my updates and journey into more relationship type stuff, as opposed to dating, you can find me here: ltr1i.tumblr.com

I’ll be taking my time initially to work out how I am going to evolve my blogging, so do bare with me as I adapt to a new style and perspective. 

My posts on Tiger won’t share each and every intricate detail as I did with dating, but I’ll make a point of updating in a more general and topical sense. I guess I’ve developed a love and relationship with blogging as well!

Thank you to all my followers of dateadreg for being there at all those moments of anguish and hilarity. It made it all worth my while and I appreciated all the comments and wisdom that had been given to me along the way.

Not quite a good bye, but it is the end of an era. In closing dateadreg, I will say this:

HANG IN THERE. 

There is an element of monotony involved in dating that will send you to a place on the odd occasion where you just can’t take it anymore. You just have to persevere. Take it on as a challenge - something you want to become a pro at. Learn from each and every experience, and let it drive you for improving on the next one. Always be the bigger person that takes charge and calls the shots - and always let go when it’s not working, no matter how hard that is. Put yourself first and foremost. Learn to be happy with it being just you. Stay busy - dating is not the one hobby to have! Though dating in itself can keep you busy.

Date as many men as you can in the beginning. Options are the key to narrowing down. And if they all don’t work out, just go back to the drawing board and start again! (hence monotony) Juggling men can actually be fun though and makes you feel like the powerful woman you are!

And when you find a good one? Don’t play games, just let it flow naturally and try to keep your head. Ride the storm of “what is this?” and see where you come out the other end. 

Always approach with caution. Don’t jump in too quickly. Don’t trust too quickly - let him SHOW you the type of guy he is.

Categorize men into one of two categories: slow lane or fast lane.

Slow lane guys are the relationship potential men - the ones you don’t sleep with on a first date. The ones you slowly build rapport with and get to know. The ones you feel either could grown on you, or straight away give you a wow factor. They need to be ticking a lot of boxes to be placed here!

Fast lane guys are those obvious men who aren’t after commitment, but you’re physically attracted to. They’re always good for a bit of short term fun - but make sure you’re in control and limit it. There’s got to be something about them that makes it easy to decide that you don’t want anything more - something small that puts you off.

Have a period of time in your mind that’s a ‘testing the waters’ period - like probation. You need to know for sure that person is someone you want to be with longer term - who isn’t going to surprise and shock you with poor behaviour that leaves you hurt and confused. Remember, some men are better than others at hiding their inner arsehole, so moving at lightening speed into a relationship is just bad news.

But if a guy can prove it to you - that it’s OK and he won’t hurt you, then you have to let the walls down bit by bit - giving him more of you. It’s terrifying at first, but it gets easier. And just remember - he’s made it clear and OK for you to do this, so if he were to turn off the lights all of a sudden now - then that’s not you to blame, as he’s just a cruel person. The only thing to do then is to buy yourself a cheesecake and take some time out! Then try to get past your neurosis for the next one…and the next one…

And then all that’s left to learn is how to let the right one in… 

dateadreg x

Anonymous said: I miss your updates. Hope everything is going well with Tiger!

Thank you! I have been a little quiet lately as it’s been a hectic time. Everything is great with Tiger - and I will make a big update soon when I get more time so stay tuned! I miss you and everyone else at Tumblr too!

I am also in the process of creating a new blog which I’ll post the link to soon if anyone wants to continue following.

I’m not gone…I will be back soon! xo

logger1230 said: Hi where u from

Australia :)